2015年6月12日星期五

Different Types of Anger

Aggressive anger is marked by abusive and violent behavior towards the targeted recipient. Whereas, those who exhibit passive anger often convey their displeasure and sometimes prefer not to talk and completely avoid the person who has made them angry. This article tells you more about the different types of anger.
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Tame your Temper
Regularly practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises and yoga can certainly help in managing anger effectively.
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Anger is often described as a temporary response to events that hurt us physically, psychologically, or emotionally. Though an integral part of life, anger can be a tricky feeling that is sometimes difficult to handle. As it is often outwardly directed, if not controlled, it can hurt people we love the most. Depending upon its nature, anger can be classified into the following types:

Passive Anger
In this type of anger, people express their emotion in an indirect way. There is no direct communication, instead it is conveyed sarcastically. Passive anger is also described as a non-verbal form of aggression, since the person may communicate his feeling through negative responses such as through angry gestures. This type of anger is often accompanied by negative body language such as ignoring people, avoiding eye contact or looking away from the person, poor posture, procrastination, and sulking.

In passive anger, people tend to bottle up their negative feeling, rather than venting it out. As a result, there is a drastic change in their behavior such as isolating oneself from friends, which often makes people around uncomfortable. People with this type of anger, appear calm outwardly but they experience inner turmoil and anxiety. They will not talk to the person who made them angry, instead vent out their frustration through indirect channels such as by gossiping or spreading terrible, malicious rumors against him.




Aggressive Anger
Aggressive anger is expressed directly and is often marked by an outburst of negative emotions. This is an extreme form of anger that can spell trouble to whomsoever the anger is directed. This style of anger in individuals makes them shout at and event hit the targeted recipient.

It is an aggressive way of expressing your negative feelings wherein the recipient is threatened, verbally abused, and often manhandled. Road rage incidents are one of the most common examples of the aggressive type of anger. Gestures such as sharp jabbing of the index finger during confrontation are also interpreted as an aggressive form of anger.




Assertive Anger
Assertive style of anger is often considered as a healthy way to express anger. Assertive anger directed to an individual is conveyed in the most responsible manner through assertive communication. In this type of anger, aggression or uncontrolled bursts of emotions do not come into picture. As such, there is no damage to the relationship because the person communicates properly about the reason behind his anger and moreover, is ready to take full responsibility if he has made someone angry.

In this type of anger, the individual does not hold any grudge or show disrespect towards the recipient of his anger. People with an assertive style of anger expression do not overact or behave rudely in an anger-inducing situation. Also, unlike in other styles of anger, here there is no scope for misunderstandings due to proper communication.




Retaliatory Anger
As the name suggests, this type of anger arises due to perceived wrongdoings of the recipient of anger. This is a form of aggressive anger that fuels the fire of revenge against the perceived offender. Harassment in any form from the offender or not receiving payment from an organization despite working efficiently are some common causes of retaliatory anger.

Self-inflicted Anger
This form of anger may be described as a self-injury behavior because the individual is angry with himself. This self-directed anger often results in hurting oneself. In this type of anger, the individual tries to punish himself by inflicting wounds to one's own body or by other means such as starvation with the sole intention of self-harm. Having prolonged and excessive guilt feelings is the main reason behind self-inflicted anger. Failing to crack an interview or being unable to complete a given assignment resulting in missed opportunities, often leads to feelings of self-inflicted anger.

Constructive Anger
Anger, when channelized in the right direction can help to make positive changes socially. This is the main purpose of using anger constructively to resolve issues that are affecting day-to-day life. Constructive anger involves making anger your ally and often manifests in the form of protests, for instance against unlawful activities or racial discrimination. Here, one does not personalize the anger but rather focuses on issues that are affecting society as a whole.

Habitual Anger
When an individual starts getting angry over trivial issues, he is said to be habitually angry. These people exhibit a constant expression of anger over little things. No wonder, staying with a habitually angry person can be a headache. As a result, they seem to be in a state of constant anger, which can be unhealthy and can adversely affect their emotional well-being. Keep in mind, anger should be an occasional response but if it starts 'visiting' every now and then, it can become a source of annoyance or rather amusement for others.

Judgmental Anger
People exhibiting this type of anger often misjudge someone and then downgrade him by making insensitive remarks. Their habit of forming a wrong opinion about others makes them resent people. They misjudge people and be-little them.

Paranoid Anger
In this type of anger, the individual tends to show distrust in others or gets suspicious unnecessarily. He feels someone is trying to demean or intimidate him. Feelings of jealousy about others is a hallmark of paranoid anger because the person believes that someone is going to snatch something that truly belongs to him. So jealousy (due to unfounded beliefs) that starts in the mind is often responsible for paranoid anger.

Shame-based Anger
People exhibiting this type of anger simply cannot tolerate criticism. So the recipients of their anger are those who have shamed or embarrassed them through criticism and scathing remarks. Even a small criticism triggers their shame-based anger, which can be volatile and many times violent. For instance, say, you innocently give a nickname to your friend but if that nickname reminds him of a traumatic childhood incident of personal shame, then calling him with that name will set off his shame-based anger.
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Considering the different types of anger, one can say that anger can be destructive (which can cause self-harm or harm to others) or constructive, which is positively directed to highlight socially relevant issues. However, it is only through assertive communication that one can calm people who are angry or agitated. Remember, uncontrolled anger can hurt your near and dear ones, whereas controlled anger when expressed properly, can help develop and nurture relationships.

2015年6月10日星期三

Reasons Why Camp Friends are the Best Friends

Camp life is unforgettable - the memories you create, the experiences you share, and the friends you make, stay with you all your life. Camp friends are the best friends for numerous reasons. Relive those days through this post.
Reason why camp friends are the best friends
"It's never long distance between friends."
― Sarah Dessen
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We meet numerous people everyday, some become acquaintances, some friends. And, there is a different category of people who truly become a part of our life. They are our true buddies, who love us for what we are. Like our camp friends, who came into our life before all the drama and complexities of adult life began.
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Remember the first day of camp? You were nervous, scared, and excited. Thrown into a room with strangers, you were apprehensive about things. But slowly, you got to know each other, and found friends who will be with you lifelong.

What makes them so special?

They Know You Inside Out (Literally!)

Privacy does not come on the list when camping. So basically they have seen you in old tees, tracks, with messy hair, without makeup, or maybe even naked. Basically, they just know you, truly for what you are! And yes, they love you for that as well. They don't care where you live, how rich you are, it's pure friendship without any pretensions.

You Grew Up Together

camp friends fun and pranks
Fun Forever


Right from awkward geeky kids to confident adults, you have traveled together, transformed together, and grown with each other. You have shared all those "growing up" milestones, asked each other silly questions, and pondered over life's many mysteries.

You Love Being With Them

Of course you love them. You chose your camp buddies, and always looked forward to meeting them year after year. Well, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and you just simply never could get enough of each other. Your camp friends are your best friends because you love being with them, for you know you won't be judged.

They Will Always Be There For You

camp friends being there for each other
Together forever


You used to live together for just a couple of months, and then say goodbye with a heavy heart, but you knew you will always be there for each other. Even after growing up, living in different countries, and getting stuck up in busy lives, you know your camp friend is just a call away. You may meet them after many days, but the bond you share is always gonna stay the same.

You Can Never Feel Awkward With Them

After all you have been through, all the stupid things you have done, there's no chance of feeling awkward around them. You can talk to them about anything and everything, right from relationships to work.

They Have Accepted Your Craziness

camp friends sharing secrets and trust
Crazy nights


You have sung horrible songs in the craziest way possible during campfire, and let's not even get to your dancing skills! Yet, they have stuck to you (probably because they are as crazy as you). Anyway, the point is they have accepted that you are a total weirdo, and they still love you. That indeed makes them the best.

You Can Always Trust Them

They are your true 3 a.m. buddies. You have shared all your little or big secrets with them, and they have never told anyone. You can always count on them, and that makes them truly special.

The Games And The Pranks

All those wonderful games, swimming sessions, team games like capture the flag or color war made camp life very exciting. The strategies you made, the intense discussions you had, brought you close to each other. You learned how to be in a group. You fought; you said sorry. Those silly pranks you played on your friends, that you can still laugh over, made those days memorable.

Those Long Chats At Night

camp friends campfire and memories
Unforgettable memories


Remember sitting around the bonfire and talking about your dreams and aspirations? Those were the most amazing days of your life! Nothing to worry about, no care in the world, just talking about those limitless possibilities, and sharing all you feel - about your latest crush, or family problems, or the girl you hate at school.

All The Amazing Memories

Camp life gave you a lifetime of memories, that will stay with you forever. More importantly, it taught you how to make memories together. It wasn't just about clicking selfies or pictures then, it was about living those moments, truly living them. Even today, when you think back, those memories and nostalgia floods the mind. Remember the last night of camp, those tearful goodbyes, and the promise to meet again.
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Reasons won't be enough, but you know nobody can occupy that special place your camp friends hold in your heart. They are your best friends, period.

2015年6月9日星期二

Challenges of Raising Children in Nuclear Families

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For much of US history, nuclear families have been the norm for mainstream society. However, with the advent of the 21st century, people from across the nation are challenging this family structure. In this article, we look at one facet of this topic: The various problems that one faces in the upbringing of children in nuclear families.
Challenges of raising children in nuclear families
Quick Fact!
As of 2014, the prevalence of traditional nuclear families, which included a mother, a father, and their children, has drastically reduced. Today, nearly 30% of all American households are single-parent families, while families with same-sex parents are also on the rise.
Nuclear families have a structure consisting of two parents and their children, i.e., immediate family. This system is very different from a joint family, where non-immediate family members, such as uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc., may be included. It is a long-held belief that, a nuclear family is the ideal family structure. However, as with anything, this system has its own advantages as well as disadvantages.
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The advantages of living in a nuclear family include higher chances of financial stability, consistency in the standards of upbringing of children, and strong bonds between all members of the family. While all this can be beneficial to the child's growth, there is a chance that poor parenting can drastically affect the kids.

The Role of Parents in a Nuclear Family
Since the children of a nuclear family are completely dependent on their parents for emotional and material support, the role of the parents is very important, especially in their formative years. They must offer secure relationships with their children, and be good role models in regards to both, mental and physical health.

If the level of love and conflict between the parents is healthy, and the couple displays satisfaction and respect towards each other and their roles at home, the children grow up to become well-adjusted to handle their adult lives. However, consistently performing well at these roles has its own challenges for most nuclear family parents.

Problems Parents Face Raising Children

Autonomous Parental Styles: Parents may style their parental behavior on letting their children make the rules. In these cases, the kids might become rebellious and difficult to handle. Such children usually grow up to be sociable, but also assertive and aggressive. This is not a bad thing overall, but can lead to mental stress in the parents.
Rejective Parental Styles: Most nuclear home have both the parents working, which means that, they are often tired after returning home. Unable to provide their children with enough attention, the child may feel left out and resentful. Such parenting can lead to the child becoming hostile towards others.
Restrictive Parenting Styles: In their bid to make their children well-behaved, some parents may become overly strict. The smallest mistakes are punished, and children might feel afraid of their parents. In these cases, the children often do become well-behaved. However, they also become overly dependent on their parents to make any decisions for own their lives.
Financial Dependence: Apart from depending on the parents for emotional bonds, children might also feel stressed if financial troubles exist, because unlike a joint family, there is no one else to fall back on.
Isolation: Children get lesser chances of interacting with extended family members. This can result in poor communication skills, and a loss of traditions in the new generation, which is very important to keep the child grounded.
Less Resilience: If the parents are unable to handle themselves well in emergency situations, this can adversely affect the kids, and they too can acquire various fears due to a poor support structure.

Despite these problems, there are a few research-based tips to make sure that you raise happy, well-adjusted children.

Tips for Raising Children

Understanding the Child: Many parents simply look at different families around them, and assume that they know the best ways to raise their own kids. However, the fact is that, each child is different, and a parenting style which is suitable for one child may not be suitable for another. Therefore, tailoring the methods of parenting according to the child's personality can reduce anxiety in the family. For example, children who have trouble handling their emotions might need more attention, while well-adjusted kids might be adversely affected with excessive monitoring.
Joking Around: Research has shown that, when parents joke and play act with young children, it increases the child's creative skills. Such children are also able to manage relations and stress much better. So, lighten up and become the joker in your home; your kids will thank you after.
Stop Searching for Perfection: It is very important that parents stop looking for perfection in their child or in themselves. Such thinking only increases stress and decreases confidence. It is important to try to ignore the pressure, so that you and your child can live a happier and relaxed life.
Positive Attitudes: It is a well-known fact that, parents who express negativity constantly, or handle children roughly, end up with overly aggressive or reclusive kids, which increases as they grow up. So, if you seem to find too much anger in the house, break free of these habits. It will reduce the chances of major social problems in the long run.Evening Dresses
Maintaining Autonomy: Children who talk back to their parents can often get irritating. However, research suggests that, kids who are rebellious have a stronger resistance towards peer pressure outside their homes. So, instead of trying to stamp out this behavior completely by being strict, keep it under control by being rational and giving them your support. This will give the kids the confidence to stand up for themselves in the future.
Keep Away from Guilt: Parents might find that they are not giving enough their time to their kids. This can lead to guilt. However, it is important that you don't let these emotions control you. Being compassionate rather than guilty towards yourself will not only help in dealing with child raising problems, but will also help set a good example for the kids.
Relationship with Parents: A warm, caring relationship with the mother and father helps in reducing behavioral problems in children. By being a secure base for the children, parents become a good launch pad for the kids to go out into the world, and forge new but healthy relationships when they grow up.
Learn to Let Go: If your child is going to college, you must learn to let go. It is one of their major steps towards becoming independent, and constantly hovering around them can make them anxious and self-conscious. Be close, but not too close.
Work on Mental Health: Studies have shown that, depressed parents struggle to fulfill their duties towards their kids. The negative parenting style will increase the child's stress too, which affects their daily lives. Therefore, if you think that you are depressed, get help for you and your child's sake.
Work on Your Marriage: Do not let your parental responsibilities affect your marital relation with your better half. Studies show that, parents suffering from marital problems contribute to the stress in their children, resulting in sleeplessness and other mental issues. So keep yourself happy, to keep your child happy.
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In today's time, where everything is commercialized, and where children are exposed to adult subcultures from a very young age, nuclear families are becoming more unstable, negatively affecting the kids. Children form weak attachments, and have poor levels of empathy, respect, and civility. As children learn the most from their parents, the successful upbringing of a child requires active and sustained spiritual, physical, intellectual, and emotional presence of the parents in the kid's life. The more time one spends in effectively rearing a child, the better the chances of the outcome.

2015年6月8日星期一

Fraudulent Misrepresentation: Elements, Remedies, and Examples

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In corporate law, the act an individual or party of intentionally tricking another individual or party is termed as fraudulent misrepresentation. This Buzzle post will explain the concept of fraudulent misrepresentation, including its elements, remedies, and examples.
Fraudulent misrepresentation meaning
Please Remember
The tort of deceit is a commonly-used remedy when you have been a victim of fraudulent misrepresentation. A claim under the tort of deceit needs to fulfill the elements of intention, false representation, and loss for the victim.
To understand any legal concept, you need to understand some basic terms. In this context, remember that a representation is a statement that is made by the parties in question. It is something that helps gain an insight into the contract, but it is not something that is defined as a term in the contract. On the contrary, the legal definition of misrepresentation states, "a false statement of facts that has the effect of inducing someone into a contract". It means that you have made a false statement about a fact in order to complete the transaction; it is a statement that is not consistent with what is true.
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In this Buzzle article, you will learn about fraudulent misrepresentation, which occurs when one party betrays the other on purpose. Similar to perjury, it may be difficult to prove whether a party has intentionally committed this offense.

What is Fraudulent Misrepresentation?

There are three types of misrepresentation―innocent, negligent, and fraudulent.
In case the false statement was made without any knowledge of the same or with no bad intent, it qualifies for innocent misrepresentation. If the statement was made without paying attention or in negligence/carelessness, it qualifies for negligent misrepresentation.
Fraudulent misrepresentation, on the other hand, is when the untrue statement is made intentionally, to trick the other party.
Thus, you will be accused of a fraudulent misrepresentation if you have, on purpose, and with full knowledge and consciousness, lied about a transaction for your own benefit by betraying the other party. It is most serious offense of all three, and qualifies for penalties.


Elements

The elements of fraudulent misrepresentation are given below.

False Representation

This is the essence of fraudulent misrepresentation. Someone has to make a false representation. That is to say, someone has to misrepresent the fact, and believe that it is false.

Involvement of the Other Party

The other party has to be involved in the fraud. That means, they have to rely on the lie, they have to be affected due to the lie. For example, if the seller lies about a product but you do not buy it, you cannot blame the seller for lying. It's none of your business to take any action against him, when you haven't been the affected party at all. You can take an action if and only if you have believed his lie and have purchased the item.

Damages to the Other Party

A case for fraudulent misrepresentation can be filed if and only if the other party has suffered damages. The final transaction must actually cause some harm to the other party.

Relation of the Misrepresentation to the Transaction

Whatever the misrepresentation, it must be related to the transaction only. If the fraudulent party lies about something that has no relation to the deal, it cannot qualify as fraudulent transaction.

Strong Intention

The intention of the betraying party should be clear, i.e., to trick the other party. The untruth should be told with an intention of affecting the transaction.

The Untruth that Led to the Fraud

The misrepresentation must be made with complete awareness that it is false, or at least, with a careless assumption that it is false, or with complete disregard as to whether it is true or not. This means that either you know that you are lying, in full consciousness, or you have no reason to believe that it is the truth.

Remedies

Rescission

In legal terms, a 'rescission' is defined as a cancellation of contract.
The contract is then considered as null and void, as if never existed.
This step is generally undertaken by insurance companies, that is to say, the company can terminate your policy if you have intentionally listed wrong information about yourself.
In case of a fraudulent misrepresentation, a rescission ensures that the contract is completely terminated, i.e., things are brought back to how they were in the beginning of the contract.
All the parties are in the situation they were prior to signing the contract, and any money or any benefit received by the fraudulent party must be returned to the other party.


Damages

Let's say, you have purchased an expensive dress for an event, wherein your boss requires you to make a good impression on his clients/guests.
After being assured by the store owner that the dress is made of expensive fabric and will last long, you have bought the same.
However, he has conveniently and intentionally lied about this so that you make your purchase. At the event, the dress gets stuck on a chair and gets ripped off completely, and the event manager fires you for embarrassing him.
In this case, the court will order that the store owner compensate you for the loss of your job, since he very well was aware that the dress you purchased was of a poor quality. Even if he didn't, he will still have to pay for the damages due to fraudulent misrepresentation.


Examples

Example I

Let us suppose you have been asked by the owner of a company to work for him, and that he would pay you a stipulated amount in return.
You go there to work trusting your boss that he will pay you the promised amount. However, you discover that he pays you lesser than the stated amount.
This is a case of fraudulent misrepresentation, and you can sue the owner for fraudulent inducement of employment. This example fulfills all the elements of the fraudulent misrepresentation tort.


Example II

Let's assume you have purchased a house through a real estate agent/owner after having seen several houses.
You have then asked him if the house has a leakage problem. Now, the owner probably knows that the house does have a leakage problem, yet, he does not inform you of the same, since he wants to close the deal as soon as possible.
After signing the contract and shifting to the house, you notice that it has a leakage issue. This is a case of fraudulent misrepresentation.
You can now void the contract and get back your money since the owner knew about the problem, yet, he did not inform you, with the intent of tricking you into buying a house with a problem.
The owner has made a fraudulent misrepresentation that you have relied on, and the court will void the contract.
Another scenario would be when you inquire about the leakage, and the owner genuinely does not know that the house has one. Therefore, he tells you that there is no problem.
After signing the contract, you discover the problem, and despite one of the elements of fraudulent misrepresentation not being satisfied, you can still void the contract.


Example III

Assume that you have purchased an electronic gadget with a 2-year warranty. Also, you are assured by the salesman that the components of the gadget are new.
However, in reality, the components are 2 years old and fall apart when you begin to use the gadget.
In this case, the salesman might have known about the defective components, but he has deliberately chosen to refrain from mentioning about them, because he wants you to purchase it. When you find that you have been a victim of fraudulent misrepresentation, you can sue the seller and recover damages.
Even if the seller was unaware of the defective piece, in this case, he would still have to pay for the loss (if any) sustained by you.
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Not every kind of fraud classifies as a fraudulent misrepresentation. It might very well be possible that your business has been wronged by another party, but it may not have been done with a purpose; it may not always qualify for a fraudulent misrepresentation. This is rather difficult to identify. It is essential that both parties complete all the formalities with the help of a good corporate attorney.

2015年6月7日星期日

15 Things You Will Relate to if You are a Coffee Lover

Coffee is not just a beverage; it's much more for a person who loves coffee. It is a companion in good and bad times. It has become a part of our daily lives, and we just can't seem to get enough of it. So, while you are sipping on your cuppa coffee, take a look at the list of things that only a coffee lover can truly understand.
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Things coffee lovers relate to
"To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions."
―Hugh Jackman
Coffee Lover. Coffee Addict. Obsessed Coffee Lover. Connoisseur. I'm sure most of you coffee lovers out there would have been referred to by these names at least once in your life till now. Coffee for you is much more than just a normal drink or beverage. You kickstart your day with a hot cuppa, and there you are, all set to face the day's challenges. Sipping on coffee at odd times of the day or night, getting drawn to the intoxicating smell of coffee, thinking about coffee whether you are happy, sad, or depressed? If you identify with all of these, then you are definitely one big coffee fanatic. Don't worry, you're not alone in this! I too am sipping on a cup of coffee as I write this article! So of course, we understand your endless love for coffee, and the love that these little beans have provided us in return. You just can't thank God enough for creating this heavenly and magical drink. Therefore, to explain our love for coffee, we have come up with a list of things that no one else, but only coffee lovers will relate to.

Things that Only a Coffee Lover Can Understand

#1. You can't imagine kickstarting your day without coffee
Coffee lover in morning
You wake up everyday just because you'll get to have that amazing drink the first thing in the morning. Until then, you feel miserable, sleepy, tired, cranky, etc. The moment the dark roast touches your lips and the first sip goes down your system, you are all ready to go out. However, staying a little longer in bed with that hot cup of coffee in your hand seems like heaven to you. It goes without saying, that you can literally do anything for that first cup!

#2. You can't start working until you've had coffee again at work
Coffee lover at work
The only thing that can get you to work is coffee! You believe that coffee breaks are the best part of the day at work. And sometimes, although we hate it, but a LOT of work is welcomed because it works as an excuse for more coffee. It also comes to your rescue at the most important part of the day - the afternoon crash! You are probably three cups down by afternoon, when you start craving for the next one as soon as you start feeling sleepy.

#3. You know your coffee very well
Different types of coffee
You've probably had every type of java that exists on this planet, and also know the art of preparing that perfect cup. Non-coffee lovers just don't get the point, that making a GOOD cup of coffee is an ART and not an obsession. Your friends call you their Coffee Menu, and also turn to you when they want to have an amazing coffee.

#4. You have a love affair with coffee
Love affair with coffee
All coffee lovers do! You'd choose coffee over anything else in this world. You also start and end your day with it, and share a special relationship with it. You get possessive and angry when someone else touches your cup. You've also imagined that, if coffee was a person, you'd marry it! It means so much to you.

#5. You just can't get over the intoxicating aroma of coffee
Coffee aroma
You get attracted to the smell of coffee wherever you go, and can recognize the type of coffee just by smelling it. The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans is one of the best in the world, and you simply love waking up to the smell of coffee.

#6. You bond well with other coffee lovers
Coffee lovers bond well
You believe that a friend of coffee is your friend, and those who don't like it, you don't like them too. How can people not have coffee after all? Those who love coffee do understand your love for it better than anyone else, and thus, won't ever judge you.

#7. There's coffee for every occasion and mood
Coffee every occasion and mood
Happy. Sad. Depressed. Excited. Morning. Night. Breakup. Coffee blends into all kinds of situations and occasions. It knows how to lift your mood and simply solves all your problems... for a while at least! It is also your savior when you are out on a date and you don't know what to do.

#8. Your favorite hangout is a coffee shop
Coffee shop
Whenever you are out and you can't decide on a place, you just settle on a coffee shop every single time. It's as if you sleepwalk to the aroma and love of coffee. You frequent most coffee joints in town, and the staff everywhere already know your order. Your regular coffee shop has become your second home. And if any of your friends wants you to accompany them anywhere, they know what to do!

#9. You like your coffee perfect
perfect coffee
You spend hours beating to make the best coffee in the world. You simply want your coffee to be the best every time. You believe that life is too short to have a bad cup of coffee, but you'll still settle for one if you can't get good coffee. And you also prefer bad coffee over good tea.

#10. Your favorite part of the day - coffee and a good book
"What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee?" We agree with you Mr. Anthony Trollope! There's nothing better than cuddling under a blanket on a sofa or bed with a hot cup of coffee and a really good book. It is your faithful companion when you pull an all-nighter for an exam or to finish some pending work.

#11. You have different types of coffee mugs
You have a whole collection of coffee mugs of all shapes, sizes, and colors, at your place, with some wacky quotes on them too. And you even have some fixed mugs for fixed days. Actually, these also make good gifts for all coffee fanatics.

#12. There's coffee for every weather
Whether it's burning hot or snowing outside, you have coffee for every weather. There's hot coffee for cold weather, and cold coffee for hot weather. You'll find so many different types of coffees in the menu wherever you go. Cold tea in hot weather? Nah, never mind!

#13. Tea to coffee transition
You have also converted some tea lovers into coffee lovers. And they got converted because they had no other choice. You are simply that good with coffee! *Devilish smile*

#14. How much coffee is too much for you?
You can easily have at least 5 - 6 cups of coffee in a day. One cup a day is never enough for coffee lovers. Even I'm three cups down already by now, and half of the day is still left! And for those who say you have 9 - 10 cups of coffee a day, stop exaggerating people! We don't keep having coffee back-to-back the whole day. It's just our love for it, and nothing else.

#15. Tea vs. coffee debates?
You simply don't understand how people function without having coffee, and you hate getting into coffee vs. tea debates, because you know coffee wins every time hands down. You simply love it for the love of it.
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So, these were some signs which prove that you are a coffee lover, and probably understand them too. While I'm off to grab my next cup of Joe, do let us know how many of these things you identify yourself with, by mentioning them in the comments section below.

2015年6月4日星期四

9 Signs That Prove You Love Yourself the Most

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What does one expect after all in life? A little appreciation and a few kind words. So why wait for the world to give it to you? You start appreciating yourself, and the world will follow. This article has put together nine signs that indicate you love yourself the most. Interested in knowing your score out of nine?
Sign that proves you love yourself
To love yourself,
Take yourself on a date.
Write and post a letter to yourself.
Find your passion, and act on it.
If someone asks you who is the love of your life, what would your answer be? It won't be wrong to guess that most of us would begin thinking of some person, probably someone very close to our heart.
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Now another question. What all would you do to make that person happy? (Oh, by the way, let's be practical, none of us is a superhuman here). So, maybe you would plan a surprise, buy that person a gift - an expensive something he/she always wanted, fulfill some old wish, and so on and so forth. But how many of us would want to do such exciting things for our own selves?

If you do, or at least wish to give it a try, you will experience a smile coming onto your face. There lies the answer to the question whether you love yourself or not. Help yourself with the following list of nine signs, to see whether you fall in the category of self-lovers.

Signs That You Love Yourself

Love is considered to be the highest of all positive emotions. Loving oneself directs our emotions to an optimistic way of life. It helps keep the mind, body, and soul happy and balanced. Many of us have understood this secret, and are happy to express our love for ourselves. Here's how such people do it. You are in love with yourself if...

#1 You Want to Hug Yourself Often
woman hugging herself
I am my favorite!

Here's to my favorite! Mwah! Now that's a toast to someone special, to YOU. If you feel it is simply mandatory to like your own personality, at all costs, you are in. Done with others. This time it's 'me' that I have fallen for. If you've hugged yourself at least once, you know how awesome it feels when you don't fit into your own arms, but like it to be that way. Of course, with your head tilted and a cute smile to go with it!

#2 You Look into the Mirror and are Happy
baby looking in mirror
Hello gorgeous!

Admiration for oneself is one of the primary rules for loving yourself. If you like looking into the mirror, and that image on the other end gives you a happy feeling, you can be sure of your love for your true self. An early morning, sleepy face, a tired face with no make-up, or a soft gaze at your own eyes; whatever be the expression and the time of the day.

#3 You Enjoy Your Own Company
woman sitting atop mountain
It's just perfect to have ME in my life.

There are some who love being all by themselves. Get a book to read, go for a trail, put on some music that suits and soothes your mood, paint your imagination, pen down every small feeling into words, cook yourself an awesome delicacy for a change; the list can go on forever. If you do one or many of these things, it seems you enjoy your own company, and there is nothing wrong with it, AT ALL.

#4 You Honor Yourself
happy old couple swimming
Who cares how old?

'If you love him/her, you first need to have some respect for that person'. This is a common advice we either tend to give or receive when trying to help others with issues in relationships and marriages. And it appears to be true too. So, if you think you really do love yourself, in this case too, respecting oneself comes first. Honoring your feelings, your life, and your personality is the same as being able to love the person in you. Things like age, gender, color, race, success in life, financial status, or such meager aspects matter the least. As it is said, regard yourselves well, so that the world too regards you well in return.

#5 You Take Good Care of Yourself
woman at a spa
Treating the YOU within.

Button up your overcoat, when the wind is free,
Oh, Take good care of yourself, you belong to me!

You must have heard this song. You should know when and how you need to be treated. Do anything that helps you relax; take a long, deep breath, and forget everyday worries. If you feel you know when it's time for some pampering, you sure know yourself better than the world! Do some kind of regular exercise, practicing yoga, meditation, or a visit to the spa, and several other ways to treat yourself once in a while.

#6 You Think You Know Yourself
woman holding slr camera
I found me. I wanna be ME.

Happy at work, happy with what you're doing? That means you know what you like doing, and you know who you are. When you feel that sense of satisfaction with life, you know that you know yourself. Or at least, you have started in that direction. Have you ever looked at your hands, feet, nails, and body? Just like that, for the sake of looking at it! Try it once, and you will begin to love your body, because you would realize that you are much more than just that. Because it is you, the body is yours, it serves you. You feel grateful for it. Appreciate it. This way, you know you are beautiful.

#7 You Accept Yourself, as You Are
woman running from wave of laundry
Need to buy me some new clothes. Oh wait! Laundry.

Meet me! This is who I am. You know what you are great at, and... well, there are a lot of things you can be bad at. But, if you still manage to praise yourself after cooking yourself a meal, without any resultant accidental preparation, OR, after finding some tiny thing in your bag when you needed it the most, OR, after being able to find the perfect pair of earrings to go with a dress, right in your closet, OR, after any such huge accomplishment, then,
you surely are a deep admirer of the self. On a serious note, acceptance of the self is a basic feat achieved when you learn to love yourself, with all flaws (inherited, right?)

#8 You Make Your Own Choices
woman wearing different pair of shoes
For me, I come first.

Have you ever tried wearing a different, non-matching pair of shoes? Only because you wanted to? If yes, you get a point added to your score. You don't take decisions to make others feel good, but do things for your own sake. You can refuse to go to a party, because you needed to get some good sleep over the weekend, and you are completely fine with it. People like these are just different. They listen to their heart. They do only what they want to. And, there is no good or bad about it; that's just a way for them to express their love for a real SOULmate.

#9 You Gift Yourself a Vacation
woman traveler atop a car
Bon voyage!

Last, but not at all the least, this in fact testifies as the best way to prove that one really loves oneself. It is often a wish of many to plan a vacation, where... still only some can actually make those wishes come true. If you have visited a country, state, gone for an adventure sport outing, or simply gone out into nature, to do justice to what you sensed within you, you would top the list of people who are in love with themselves. Because, if you've been there and done that, only you know how you have changed YOUR perception about YOU.

Just to sum it up all, we know that guilt doesn't do any good to anyone, but love might. Don't be under the impression that it's always helping others that makes us happy. Not that it doesn't, but if what matters is making someone happy, then why not yourself for once?
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So, what was your score on nine? Feel free to share your secret ways to care for yourself. We hope you feel even better now, for having loved yourself the most. Keep it going!

2015年6月3日星期三

The Strange Mauritanian Tradition of Force-feeding Girls to Find a Husband

Agreeing to the fact about different perceptions of beauty around the world, there are some far-flung places where obesity is a sign of beauty. It is also seen as a symbol of wealth. We are talking about the tradition in Mauritania. The world may be obsessed with getting slimmer, Mauritanians have a story of their own. Read this post to know its history and its underlying effects.
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Mauritanian tradition of force-feeding girls
In 2013, the HBO documentary series, Vice highlighted the plight of Mauritanian women. They sent Thomas Morton, an American journalist, to investigate and experience the tradition of Leblouh, which resulted in him gaining 10 pounds in two days!
She's gonna go to a magical place on vacation to the desert. She'll get to eat sweets all day and meet and befriend other girls of her age. The holidays will be spent relishing the stay and savoring mouths. She'll return home turning into a beautiful woman.

This is the story narrated by every mother in Mauritania to her girl child. The girls get all excited for their "summer camp" and takes a leave to the desert, only to return by becoming "beautiful." Let's resume the story.

The girl is having breakfast in an incommodious hut cramped in the Sahara desert, accompanied with five other girls. She's just done with sopping up a pint of camel milk, but the meal ain't over yet. Her stomach is bloating with oily couscous and the next course is waiting ready to enter her tummy. She's expected to finish a huge quantity of thick gruel prepared with pounded millet. And if she refuses to have it, she'll be caned. Worse, if she pukes, she'll be forced to eat her puke.

This is what they call "magical"? This is what happens in their camp? The girl is getting beautiful by feeding on every possible fat given to her, and sometimes, even steroids to boost her weight, making her more attractive and eligible to get married.

The Tradition

➤ For Mauritanians, big is beautiful. They consider an obese wife to be a sign of wealth and prestige. The tradition holds that, the size of a woman will suggest the space she'll take in her husband's heart; the flapping layers of fat in her body will define the degree of eroticism. So, the bigger the girl, the wealthier and more mature she looks. The heavier and wealthier the girl, the more desirable she becomes, and so the earlier she'll get married. Thus, slimmer women are viewed as inferior and poor.

➤ Leblouh or force-feeding is a practice to groom young girls for potential suitors. Girls as young as five are sent to 'fattening farms' in their holidays to undergo hours of feeding during the day. To attain this physical state, the girls are fed with breadcrumbs soaked in olive oil, around 12 pints of camel milk, oily couscous, and goat meat―consumption of elephantine amounts of food. This practice is known as gavage.

➤ If a girl refuses, the woman or matron who runs the camp is likely to punish her physically. She may be caned on her toes until she screams. If she throws up, she'll be forced to feed on that vomit. Furthermore, sticks are squeezed under her thighs for her muscle tissues to erupt, speeding up the fattening process.

The Adverse Effects

➤ On an average, a girl is fed with 12 pints of goat milk and copious amount of gruel, resulting in an intake of about 14,000 to 16,000 calories per day, which is like 4 times a male bodybuilder's intake. If successful, this process will make the child look double her age. It causes a 12-year-old to weigh 180 ponds (approx. 80 kg).

➤ They have also found a new form of leblouh, 'chemical gavage'. Girls who refuse to feed on the diet, are forcefully injected with animal-growth hormones, those that are used to fatten camels and chickens. They are also dumped with steroids and pills made for birds that causes bloating of abdomen and breasts, but thin legs and arms.

➤ Owing to this feeding of gavage, the girls develop a disproportionate body shape, and more importantly, become obese, leading to life-threatening issues! The bigger threats involve regular heart attacks, heart failures, malformations, reproductive health complications, renal failures and joint pain.

Concluding Remarks
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Young women are fighting against this practice. They idealize models, watch television, are aware of the world that is trying to get skinnier. They refuse to bulk up. Although there is a fall in the number of women practicing force-feeding, this nescient notion needs to be dozed with awareness about its hazardous consequences. Campaigns, reaching out, making a provision for education, are some of the factors that can stave off this wrongdoing. There is a sheer need of not just health awareness, but the downsides of child marriage and abuse!